MBK NEWSLETTER
WEEK 6-7-8!
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A Memorandum
Dear MBK Owners,
The treatment of owners in the MBK Fantasy Football league is a sad chapter in history.
For just less than a decade, MBK Owners congregated together. They left families and their children on Sunday, just to come together to watch football.
In the mid 2000s, the federal government, partly in order to meet its obligation to fantasy football owners, began to play a role in the development of football on the phone. These objectives were based on the assumption that fantasy football owners would respect these spiritual beliefs. Today, we recognize that this assumption and policy was wrong, has caused great harm, and has no place in our country.
24 owners in the MBK Fantasy Football league were left devastated. 3 weeks without a formal newsletter. An outlet to voice their opinions, read foreign policy, and have a lasting impact on the culture of football.
The legacy of Fantasy Football has contributed to social problems that continue to exist in many communities today.
On behalf of the Government of Fantasy Football,
The Right Honourable Commissioner,
- Prime Minister of Fantasy Football
Team of the Week
Congratulations to Metric, Ellis the Don, Catch The Blitz, Tank For Tua, and Jordan + Antonio for the Team of the Week wins!
Coach Lino says “The Metric is done now. They’re done with TOTW’s”.
The Metric Releases New Best Selling Book!
The Metric was handed their FIRST loss of the season this week losing 131 to 105.
The Metric was hard to get a hold of this week. They are the first to be in the media room when they win, but was nowhere to be found this week, Fox Media Reporter said.
Coach Pole and Mills are busy working on their newest book, Fractures and Joint Injuries as they conduct research on their newest research patient, Derrick Henry.
In an effort to recoup costs, they are offering $100 per participant to join in fracture studies.
First For Everything!
In a heated matchup between two long time brothers, Under The Radar managed to squeak out a tie this week.
Under The Radar came into Monday night down 7.3 points, with Travis Kelce and Kadarius Toney left to play.
Now, I’m not a betting man, but I sure as hell would bet on Under The Radar here.
Travis Kelce and Kadarius Toney TOTALED 7.3 points, leading both the 2-5 teams to their first tie.
When asked why Bianchi Bros started an injured Jamaal Williams, Coach Bianchi said “We didn’t to drop Donovan Peoples-Jones”. “Donovan Peoples-Who?” A reporter said hastily.
Navigating Bench Depth
With Derek Henry out for the season, and 3 QBs on their roster, the Guida’s are looking to make big moves this waiver wire.
Despite having 3 top QBs, the Guidas have made great coaching decisions and have been treading fairly with a 5-3 record.
“It’s going to get tough now. Big decisions will have to be made. Definitely lots of long term implications in play here.” Said former poker player, now pro fantasy coach Matt Guida
Mile High Club
Congratulations to The Metric and Tank For Tua for joining the 1k club, which most say is more prestigious than the Mile High Club.
Sfroz’it and Refroz’it were caught on a plane this weekend dreaming of being part of the 1K club, with 964 points. **See picture above
Will He Turn 27 Before He Wins?
“This guy had a 3 game win streak until I played him. Then, he had a 4 game win streak”. Said Coach Di Lucia.
Coach PrimeTime has the longest active winning streak with 4 wins, the last being over Ellis The Don.
In honour of Andrew Mills birthday, the commissioner would like to give a special shoutout to Le Gordo, who is on a 6 game losing streak.
Will he turn 27 before he wins a game?
Side Bet Scary Terry
The commissioner’s side bet prize, a jersey of any player on your fantasy team, finally came in from NFLShop (see picture below).
Coach Dak Biscott lost a miserable bet to Scary Terry in Week 4, losing 84 to 165. Due to shipping container shortages, the loot has finally arrived.
“You will see me in the stands next year wearing that jersey… with a drink in my hand” says commish.
Calvin Ridley Rule
The commissioner has instituted a new rule. You may temporarily excuse yourself for a week of fantasy football if you choose.
In all seriousness, mental health is real. Kudos to Calvin Ridley for his decision to leave football temporarily.
Power Rankings – AFC
Power Rankings – NFC
