MBK Week 9 Fantasy Football Newsletter
First and foremost, the commissioner sincerely apologizes for missing last weeks newsletter. I got caught up testifying with all the Republicans that Donald Trump won the election.
The commish would like to give a special shout out to the 4-5 Team STR, who beat the undefeated Dalvin and The Chipmunks last week. It is said that Quarter-Owner Alex Di Lucia’s house is still for sale.
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Game of the Week &… OUR FIRST TIE OF THE YEAR!
For the first time in LEAGUE HISTORY, we have our first tie! Wranglers were up early and had a nice lead Sunday night, but they got wrangled up and Team Acqua came back fast. Final score, 132.9 to 132.9.
“We’re a little worried, CMC going down again, there’s no question, it’s going to hurt” says Joshua Cooper
![C:\Users\Matthew\AppData\Local\Packages\microsoft.windowscommunicationsapps_8wekyb3d8bbwe\LocalState\Files\S0\11765\Attachments\IMG_6751[13841].JPG](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/5R317lKyU73JxeoOqE2SKCLv_u6c-PTgO6j__dEzWKkxrcofL8G5Qcvs-8BB0NUpw5dqgdL5t-3WOO0WdcMDXQ31xmpbazi3HtG-9DQvgGdrDNzLbzMt1VZ-p8HsTgfxBdTABLcWfrZUNQiE7q8Qgnrm65zaKNgZWq9bnh4o_a85zAHGb3JhtYM2KhU)
If you pre-ordered a copy of the Metric Handbook now is your chance to get your refund.
RoutLedge Publishing issued a worldwide recall on the book after there was breaking news of false information provided in a institutional textbook.
Stu/John Pol get outclassed by SCARY TERRY & THE BOYS 110.9 to 140.5!
Scary Terry & The Boys get there 2nd win of the season but are shit out of luck for playoff contention.
1-week wonders
Jordan & Antonio would like to thank Tyreek Hill for the carry this week to beat the more than mediocre Team STR. Team STR was still feeling it from there win at Davlin & The Chipmunks last week.
Jordan & Antonio move to 5-4 and will look to continue there win streak vs SHINETIME, who they see as an easy win.
The Chef Is In the House
How the fuck can you lose a fantasy match up when ONE player on your team gets 40 fucking points…
I don’t really have much to say about Mastro / G other than they got great scouts drafting their team.
“We knew we were underdogs going in and didn’t have a good feeling going in.” Says Coach Pizzimenti
Getting Worried In San Diego
Dalvin & The Chipmunks just squeak by SHINETIME by 12 points this week moving to 8-1.
SHINETIME, you can only shine for so long before the lights go off.
Dalvin & The Chipmunks score in 80s for the second straight week and they seem to be getting worried about player performance moving forward.
“We have Scary Terry next week, that’s a W but Week 11 is going to present challenges with Dak Biscott” says Coach Tran
One Biscott, Two Biscott, Three Biscott… Six Biscott
6-3 Dak Biscott pummeled a tough 5-4 PrimeTime Players by a score of 94.40 to 77.20, behind the support of 70,000 faithful fans.
Poor performance on PrimeTime Players helped Dak Biscott to win the game.
“I’m really proud of our guys, especially Travis, he’s a team player” says Mr. DiLucia
ATTN Sub .500 Teams
The latest studies have shown a name change can spike your chances of winning your match up, AND even help to get the team of the week.
“We just weren’t feeling our team name, we decided to go with Le Gordo mid-season” says coach Mills
“I don’t even know what it means, but it worked” says Mills after he was asked to comment on the meaning of his name.
Team “LE Gordo” has split Team of the Week with Scary Terry & The Boys with 140.5 points.
More Cooks in the Kitchen…
Again, how the fuck can you lose with one player getting 40 points… Dalvin, you are a beast.
Matty P was sited complaining on the pitch this week, “Of course, fucking playing Dalvin Cook this week…”
“It’s so stupid, Clyde Edwards-Helaire gets 10 fucking points… whatever” says DJ Matty P.
Congats to Under The Radar’s Team of the Week, TWO WEEKS in a row on the AFC side.
“This is getting too easy” says Mr. Benigno
Race to Trevor Lawrence
Franchise 14 is loss for loss with Scary Terry & The Boys in the race to Trevor Lawrence but with a loss like this, they are heavy favourites.
Dumb & Dumber, oops, I mean Bianchi Bros DOUBLE Franchise 14 this week, who have now lost 8 games in a row.
Mr. Benigno declined to comment but close friends of the owner have stated he was too busy watching major news networks this week.
Guida’s Squeak the Win
Guida’s squeak out a win vs City Wide Bros this week. The humiliated a disappointing Bancheri/Vits 91.40 to 64.60.
“We don’t credit our team for playing well, thank you to them for making it easy on us” says coach Guida.
Coach Guida is now looking to quit professional poker to get into professional fantasy sports.
The BIG Dawgs
Sforz’it and Refroz’it beat a mediocre 4-5 Catch The Blitz by a score of 129 to 116.
“We are extremely lucky, had they managed properly, we would’ve lost” says coach Sfroz.
A source who wanted to remain anonymous stated that owners Cepparo and Catenacci are clashing. After several arguments over who to start this week, they now realize who was right and who was wrong. Had Catch The Blitz play all the best players, they would’ve won this matchup 133.20 to 129 points.
Oh Mediocrity
A very close match up between two mediocre teams leaves the Misfits ahead by 10 points.
Tank For Tua falls 73 to 83 to Joe DePaulo’s Misfits behind the support of 70,000 fans.
Tank For Tua names there team Tank For Tua but leave Tua Tagovailoa on the bench, putting up 17.50 points.
“We are thankful we played against Tua, we would’ve lost to 18 out of the 22 potential teams this week” says Joe DePaulo
Team of the Week
NFC: Le Gordo and Scary Terry & The Boys tie for the highest points in the NFC.
AFC: Under The Radar wins Team of the Week for the second week in a row in the AFC side.
POWER RANKINGS
